2016 first post

Hi ,

I've been so long never update my blog...
Actually I wanted to update but then i don't even have free time to do that...
By the way I'm very fine here , Just sometime I feel very lonely because all the time I'm alone.
After i broke up with my girlfriend and now I have being single for very long .
And I already used to it to be alone... maybe ?
Lucky when I feel lonely, I still have Bailey(dog) there for me.
Seriously without her my life will feel meaningless.
Because anything happen I don't even know who to share and who i trust ...
I'm very thankful that what I having now...
I still remember when I back to my hometown everyone was asking where is my girlfriend...
But I just can answer them I'm still single or smile to them...


This photo about Chingay in Singapore...
Our performance is not main but we will still do everything the best no matter how...
I'm very happy to have the chance to learn and be the part to choreographer the performance for 2016 Chingay in Singapore....
Everyone in the photo is my student ...
They let me think every single step I have walked from my life-time since when i was young...
I see last time me and everything about me from them...
But I'll try my best to help them because I don't hope they walk thought how i was before....
I suddenly don't have much thing to write anymore...
All I wanted to write is...
I'm still fine here...
Still fight for my career and future...
About love...
maybe my Mrs.right still haven't appear yet...
If one day I have i'll share with everyone okay ?
I hope everything good and goes well....

Good night... 3.01am
Kevan da blogs....  

19 April 2015

Finally competition have ended ,
My mission have complete ? I also not very sure... 
well , so far so good my student manage to get what they want and I really do feel happy to see they're happy , Just like I told them before result is not that important at least they really try their best .
Congrats everyone ... 

 These card is my student do it for me... love it so much :)

Just thanks that I can says.... 
some of my student going to to leave because they're last year of wushu in their school 
I confirm will miss them anyway ^_^ hope they really learn alot and not only at wushu ...
all the best and take care ....


I wonder should I still continue on this job or not... 
seriously sometime I feel that how much you earn also no use because the happiness have gone and feel like meaningless because I have feel myself lost direction ...
I feel so lonely in Singapore ...
I miss my Family and my friends
I do sure miss my home ....
Every of my friend at my age already have what they want ,
But I still don't ...
I don't like to be alone...
I don't like to face the problem alone...
I feel like finding someone to face together with me...
I feel like I came to here everything change...
My friend are getting less and less ...
I dislike this feeling...
When can I find back my happiness....
Yes I'm emo-ing...
But can someone understand how suffer I'm to be alone came from so far ?
And somemore give some of the people who jealous on me keep on back-step me ...
Why every of the job sure have this kind of people... I really hate this feeling
Why cant just give me to have some peace.... I dislike pressure or stress....
maybe I should stop my this job...

2nd of February 12:32 AM

 


This MV make me think back my last relationship
I really love her and day by day I has viewed
Until today 7 years pass ....
Every movies or drama always show they will have a good ending
but in reality there will not have a good ending like how we really expect ...
The reason why I still stay alone , It's because I can't take the same hurt anymore ..
I'm tired to love someone so much and end with hurt and sadness...

Just a update

Today I started feel that when you at other place alone no people will ever care your feeling even how good you're or how hard working you're ...
I miss my home badly...
I miss my last time life more
I miss everything in malaysia...
I feel so lonely in Singapore ...
I've sick for a month already but i still work non-stop...
I need some rest
No one ever care about you...

I'm try my best to cheer...

I don't know how long I still can handle.....

Half year passed

Half year passed

And now I've been at Singapore ,

Everything has changed  ,

From an athlete become a coach right now  ,

How was my feeling for so long .... 

Hard from starting but i knew it make me feel hard for a reason why ... 

And now i have gain more and more weight... 

So i started to keep also...

Sometime i was too free and sometime was to busy that why wait until today i only started to update my blog.

So everyone still remember me? I feel after i quit wushu there will no more “ 谢平信” in these wushu world anymore . 

I still remember when the starting i came here i have alot of thing to think and rush , is kinda hard and tired ...

But i still try my best to teach my student at here no matter what rules they request me to do .

This is some of my student that from Victoria Secondary  

And these also my student after the tournament finished ...





I wonder this is it good for me i also not sure...
sometime my boss treat me too good and give me a lot of stuff to take
i very scare i cant make it what he want , but i'll try my best to do for him just like when
I'm starting came here i told him that i don't even know anything but i'll try my best to learn...
but so far i still feel I'm not good enough .

I'll try to earn as much as i can earn to prepare for my future stuff...  Good luck to myself
I know I'n not a good child to my parent but i'm so sorry always seldom spend my time with you all
i came here i hope to earn more then i bring u all go anywhere like trip or holiday .
Hope you all forgive me ,
Family mean to me is = Father and mother I love YOU....

  

my feeling

I don't know why am i write today...
I feel so sad right now...
maybe it is time to let go my wushu ...
I do miss but i can't hold it forever i know , one day i also have to let go ..
This is the first time i write my blog until my tears drop...
Why am i drop my tears.... ?
Maybe i played too long and i started to miss this life even i haven't quit .
I always ask myself why i play wushu until so long...
izit because of my friend that why I'm still playing...
The real reason is i can't let go ...
i trained already 12 years... I spent 12 years for wushu...
End up what i get ? the life of athlete will anyone understand ?
I also wish to enjoy life with my friend work play and hangout together .
But all i have is to see and listen what they talk and they mention about .
my life is just always stay in the room or training ...
Do anyone really understand the feeling ...
I don't think so ... even coach also doesn't understand my feeling because they are just wanna protect the place they have , they never think the life how we athlete were really are ...

E.M.O

I wonder when i'm emo who will be there for me....
Everything people just find me to help them , but for me who i'll also help them .
But how if when I'm emo ?
After the world games that i saw alot of pro opponent  that i have to face
sigh .... I have to work harder then... maybe this is my last year or not... mostly will be...
anyway what i can do is keep on walk until the place and the time reach...
good luck to myself....